Ok, friends who believe in me no matter what, I am back again, to try yep, again. I am so stinking sick and frustrated over this whole thing! It is frustrating because I know what NEEDS to be done, but then I do stupid things and screw it all up!
For instance, breakfast goes VERY well every day. I get up and have breakfast with Ben and Emily every day. We eat a healthy breakfast each day. Morning goes well and lunch isn't bad. Then afternoon hits and all I did each morning goes out the window. Why is it that when I "need" to snack I can't snack correctly? I know, I know...I don't really need to snack, but for some reason, my body thinks it does. The main problem is that when I screw up on that first snack, then the rest of my day is done. It's like "...well, I messed up already, why not?"
I know this is whining and I am truly sorry. I needed to get it out there. I guess it's because I need support. It's really hard to do this alone and I know those of you that read this do so because you do support me. I feel horrible and know that I would feel better physically, mentally and even spiritually if I could just keep on track and succeed at this. My need/desire to lose weight isn't to "look good" (although that would be nice :). No, it is much deeper than that. I want to be able to play with my kids, to be able to get down on the floor with them and play with them and not hurt. (Yes, that is where I am...doing normal things hurt). To be able to teach my children how to play baseball/softball and be able to do it with them. To go on vacation one day back to the Rocky Mountains (or anywhere for that matter) and be able to hike with my family and not be the one holding them back. That is where I feel I am now. Holding everyone back. I am sick of it. Plain and simple.
Any suggestions, including recipes would be welcome. I am genuinely hoping that this is the last whiny blog I have to write. It wasn't fun. I am sincerely hoping that the next time we "talk" it will be much more upbeat and positive!
Love to all!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
I've fallen...I am getting back up!
Hello, friends. This has been a not-so-good weekend. I have had some stress that was completely unnecessary (and stupid to be blunt). I have done VERY poorly this weekend. I have fallen. Yes, I have.
Tomorrow I get back up. Yes, I will. I will be going to the Y tomorrow afternoon before going to church for fellowship and my class.
Today at church, Matt Dickerson said a beautiful prayer about coming to a place where we need to make a decision. I know he was referring to making a decision about following God, but it hit home. Big time. My decision is this: even though my lenten journey didn't go exactly the way I had planned, and I didn't do as well as I thought I could I am going to continue. There are always going to be things getting in our way. Work happens. Kids have things to do and we are gonna have to hit the fast food joint. Stress comes into our lives. People get sick and we get devastating news about loved ones. We will have those people in our lives that beat us down, tell us we shouldn't do this or that, tell us it's not worth it and question why we are doing something. Still, we need to continue.
So that is what I am doing tomorrow. I am getting my eating back on track. I am going to the Y after the kids get home and I am going to walk, ride, and do some of the machines. I am getting back up. I prayed to God to show me what to do, to show me some help. He sent help in the form of Mr. Matt Dickerson with that awesome prayer to kick me back on track. Praise God! Make decisions when we come to that fork in the road.
Tomorrow I get back up. Yes, I will. I will be going to the Y tomorrow afternoon before going to church for fellowship and my class.
Today at church, Matt Dickerson said a beautiful prayer about coming to a place where we need to make a decision. I know he was referring to making a decision about following God, but it hit home. Big time. My decision is this: even though my lenten journey didn't go exactly the way I had planned, and I didn't do as well as I thought I could I am going to continue. There are always going to be things getting in our way. Work happens. Kids have things to do and we are gonna have to hit the fast food joint. Stress comes into our lives. People get sick and we get devastating news about loved ones. We will have those people in our lives that beat us down, tell us we shouldn't do this or that, tell us it's not worth it and question why we are doing something. Still, we need to continue.
So that is what I am doing tomorrow. I am getting my eating back on track. I am going to the Y after the kids get home and I am going to walk, ride, and do some of the machines. I am getting back up. I prayed to God to show me what to do, to show me some help. He sent help in the form of Mr. Matt Dickerson with that awesome prayer to kick me back on track. Praise God! Make decisions when we come to that fork in the road.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Ooof. Life seems to always get in the way...
Hello, friends. I have been gone for quite some time. For this, I apologize. As the title implies, life has gotten in the way. AGAIN.
About a month ago we found out that my grandmother (mom's mom) has pancreatic cancer. This threw all of us for a loop. I have not been dealing well with this. At all. That being said, I am quite surprised that I haven't completely gone off my plan. While it is true that I have not been blogging, I haven't physically dealt with this stress as I normally do. Normally, I get bad news, stress out and "depression eat". Very sad, but true. I have had a lapse in my exercise and walking, but (on a positive note) I have been going to the Y to get my butt (and the rest of me) back on track.
I am working out a schedule that allows me to do what we need to do, have a little of a life and get exercise done. I am glad that we have joined the Y because all of us can go together and have fun/get stuff done. Emily and Benjamin go to childcare while Becca and Kalah and I go upstairs to workout. Also, the Teen center is right down the hall and Mykalah found out she knows people that hang out there. It's a win-win as long as I can make it work.
Until next time, getting back on track.
Nicole :)
About a month ago we found out that my grandmother (mom's mom) has pancreatic cancer. This threw all of us for a loop. I have not been dealing well with this. At all. That being said, I am quite surprised that I haven't completely gone off my plan. While it is true that I have not been blogging, I haven't physically dealt with this stress as I normally do. Normally, I get bad news, stress out and "depression eat". Very sad, but true. I have had a lapse in my exercise and walking, but (on a positive note) I have been going to the Y to get my butt (and the rest of me) back on track.
I am working out a schedule that allows me to do what we need to do, have a little of a life and get exercise done. I am glad that we have joined the Y because all of us can go together and have fun/get stuff done. Emily and Benjamin go to childcare while Becca and Kalah and I go upstairs to workout. Also, the Teen center is right down the hall and Mykalah found out she knows people that hang out there. It's a win-win as long as I can make it work.
Until next time, getting back on track.
Nicole :)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
I Did it!!!!!
OK, this is gonna be a short and sweet post. The first 7 days I lost 7 pounds!!! YAY!!!!! I have never been able to do that. I have also started a devotional journal. It's called: Looking Up: Trusting God with your Every Need. It's by Beth Moore. I have only done one day so far. I like it.
Bible Verse of the day:
"The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me;
your love, O Lord, endures forever-
do not abandon the works of your hands."
-Psalms 138:8
Have a great day and may God Bless you. Thank you for believing in me. :)
Bible Verse of the day:
"The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me;
your love, O Lord, endures forever-
do not abandon the works of your hands."
-Psalms 138:8
Have a great day and may God Bless you. Thank you for believing in me. :)
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Not as hard as I thought it would be...
So, I started this journey last Wednesday. It hasn't been nearly as hard as I thought it would. Nor has it been as hard as it has been in the past. I'm not sure what is the difference, but this is working. I am quite certain that it has to do with the fact that I have been doing a LOT of talking to God during this time. There have been many things needing prayers, and I find myself talking to Him at various, random times throughout the day. It's not just at home in the few silent times I have. It's all day, everyday. It's like I will think of something out of the blue and offer up a little prayer for it. It is refreshing.
Now, with that said, let me tell you something. This last week has not been without its bumps in my plan. I have been curbing my snacking and making myself drink water and walk. That is the great part. Unfortunately, I have had some "oops" moments. Like yesterday. Emily was VERY sick. So, we had drive thru dinner. What did I eat? Chicken nuggets! Really. Chicken nuggets. Not on the plan. But, here is the difference this time around. I ate poorly last night, but I got right back on track today, packing a salad with grilled chicken and oranges to take to work. I have NEVER had willpower like this. That is how I know that I am not on this journey alone. Thanks for listening.
Tomorrow I will send a little note on the dreaded "weigh-in". NO, I am not posting the number, rather "the lost".
Now, with that said, let me tell you something. This last week has not been without its bumps in my plan. I have been curbing my snacking and making myself drink water and walk. That is the great part. Unfortunately, I have had some "oops" moments. Like yesterday. Emily was VERY sick. So, we had drive thru dinner. What did I eat? Chicken nuggets! Really. Chicken nuggets. Not on the plan. But, here is the difference this time around. I ate poorly last night, but I got right back on track today, packing a salad with grilled chicken and oranges to take to work. I have NEVER had willpower like this. That is how I know that I am not on this journey alone. Thanks for listening.
Tomorrow I will send a little note on the dreaded "weigh-in". NO, I am not posting the number, rather "the lost".
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Improving my life from the inside out: Ash Wednesday...and the rest of my life.
Improving my life from the inside out: Ash Wednesday...and the rest of my life.: "So, today is Ash Wednesday. My kids and I have been talking about what we are 'giving up' this year. So I have decided to give up...nothing...."
Ash Wednesday...and the rest of my life.
So, today is Ash Wednesday. My kids and I have been talking about what we are "giving up" this year. So I have decided to give up...nothing. That's right. Nothing. Why? Well, here goes...
This is going to be something new for me. This year for Lent, i am not going to try (and subsequently fail) to "give something up". Instead I am going to try to succeed at something new. An improved me...
Now, I know that lenten sacrifices are not about ourselves. That is not what this is. Yes, I know I said it's called an improved ME, but by improving myself, I am hoping to improve those around me, my relationship with my siblings and children, my prayer and devotional life, and the relationship I have with God. I need improvements in all of those areas, so I am going to try to improve me.
So, this blogging thing is new for me, so bear with me. I have found writing to help get through things in the past, and I am hoping it to help me stick with this as well. I am going to try to blog about how things are going and what I am doing to improve. It isn't going to be an everyday blog, but it will be here. Additionally, I am hoping that by "writing" it down, it will help me be accountable. I am starting with baby steps.
Today's outcome...Got up earlier than usual and walked/jogged for 20 minutes. It felt good, it really did. I followed by eating a good breakfast (something I am REALLY bad at). The rest of the day was pretty mediocre. I didn't get to attend Ash Wednesday services because Becca had a concert. While I missed going to services, I love going to concerts and hearing Becca play! The concert was awesome and I got to hang out with an awesome mom I know and haven't really had the time to hang out with lately! It was a pretty good day overall. So, basically today I exercised a little and totally ate better than I normally do. Day one was a success...let's see how the rest go.
Love to all :)
This is going to be something new for me. This year for Lent, i am not going to try (and subsequently fail) to "give something up". Instead I am going to try to succeed at something new. An improved me...
Now, I know that lenten sacrifices are not about ourselves. That is not what this is. Yes, I know I said it's called an improved ME, but by improving myself, I am hoping to improve those around me, my relationship with my siblings and children, my prayer and devotional life, and the relationship I have with God. I need improvements in all of those areas, so I am going to try to improve me.
So, this blogging thing is new for me, so bear with me. I have found writing to help get through things in the past, and I am hoping it to help me stick with this as well. I am going to try to blog about how things are going and what I am doing to improve. It isn't going to be an everyday blog, but it will be here. Additionally, I am hoping that by "writing" it down, it will help me be accountable. I am starting with baby steps.
Today's outcome...Got up earlier than usual and walked/jogged for 20 minutes. It felt good, it really did. I followed by eating a good breakfast (something I am REALLY bad at). The rest of the day was pretty mediocre. I didn't get to attend Ash Wednesday services because Becca had a concert. While I missed going to services, I love going to concerts and hearing Becca play! The concert was awesome and I got to hang out with an awesome mom I know and haven't really had the time to hang out with lately! It was a pretty good day overall. So, basically today I exercised a little and totally ate better than I normally do. Day one was a success...let's see how the rest go.
Love to all :)
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